A Great Fall
by Little Miss Whitlock
Summary: All the King’s horses and all the King’s men couldn’t put him back together again. A/U, A/H, EPOV.
1. Chapter 1

**A Great Fall**

Summary: All the King's horses and all the King's men couldn't put him back together again. A/U, A/H, EPOV.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, alright? Stop reminding me.**

**A/N: dedicated to hammondgirl because she was a huge help and because I love her. And thanks to the beta, Little Miss Masen.**

**[ Edward ]**

I didn't even flinch as the legs of the chair made contact with the wall. The loud clack of the wood busting apart and splintering didn't even phase me. The shards of wood situated themselves around the floor as I beat the chair against the wall again, the back exploding in front of me.

A low growl escaped from deep within my chest. I was heaving in and out as the adrenaline pumped itself through my body.

'_It's like I don't even know you anymore.'_

My heart was beating up in my head as I looked around the room. I swiftly grabbed the toaster and flung it across the kitchen, sparks igniting as the cord ripped out of the socket. It hit the ground and the metal scratched the tile, reminding me of fingernails on a chalkboard. I didn't even flinch.

_'What happened to you, Edward?'_

Even after all that, I still wasn't done. My fingers were tingling to grab something else. My eyes searched the room wildly, but finding nothing, fled that room in search of another.

"Ah," I sighed appreciatively as I came into the room with the most potential—the living room. Before I could even control myself I had picked up a vase of flowers and launched it at my CD player. Tiny pieces of crystal blasted off, flying through the air like raindrops. Esme would kill me for that one—it was a family heirloom.

_'Sometimes it's like you aren't even here…you're a million miles away…'_

Another round of hot, angry tears threatened to spill over. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my right hand, warning them to keep away. Tears were for people with emotions.

My hands began picking up anything within a 5 foot radius. Remote controls, coasters, CDs, DVDs—they all went flying across the room. But it didn't seem like enough damage to make me feel better.

_'I think you need to leave now, Edward. You're scaring me.'_

A wave of rejection poured over my body. That's when my eyes narrowed in on it—the picture of Bella's surprise 21st birthday party. She had hated the whole idea, and even figured it out before it happened, but went along like a good sport anyway. The picture was of Bella, Alice, Rosalie, and me, all hugging and laughing at Emmett who was singing 80s karaoke in the background. It was that night that I realized I was truly in love with her.

I picked up the picture, grunted at it, and hurled it at the television. The wood from the frame splintered out as the heaviness of the large photo broke the glass from the screen. A large shard hit my hand as it went to cover my face.

"Fuck!" I cursed as I pulled it out of the skin between my thumb and forefinger. It started bleeding so I brought it to my mouth, sucking gently with just the right amount of pressure to stop the bleeding. At least I knew I was still a human being—I could be bleed and be broken.

_'I just need some time to figure this out…figure us out.'_

I closed my eyes as a wave of nausea fell over me. How could things have gone so wrong so fast? What had happened? It's as if one minute she loved me, and the next minute she wanted to leave me? Well, it just wasn't happening. Bella and I were meant to be—predestined and all of that. Our lives had crossed so many times before and I finally had realized that she was the most incredible woman ever.

I picked up the table lamp and hurled it at the glass patio door. It, too, hit the glass with a loud shatter and ceramic chunks splashed across the room. I walked over to the bookcase, running my hand down the shelf, throwing each book off and across the room. I stepped on them, over them, kicked them. None of this was worth it—I didn't want any of it if I couldn't have Bella.

I ripped pictures off the walls, threw the large clock down onto the glass coffee table, shattering that as well. I picked up a huge sliver of glass and sliced through the couch cushions, the stuffing exploding out of its leather casing.

I dropped the glass as it cut into my hand once again. I ripped off my shirt and wrapped my hand in it to try to stop the bleeding. Now I would definitely have to pay Carlisle a visit and hope to God he wouldn't ask too many questions.

_'It's not that I don't love you, Edward…I'm just not sure if I'm in love with the same Edward…'_

I took the bookcase and threw it down onto the floor. It hit with a loud thud. I stood on top of it and jumped a few times, successfully splitting the wood and breaking it apart from the shelves.

My piano still sat in the corner, untouched, mocking me. I stormed over to it, lifting the lid. My fingers began stroking the ivory white keys. But my anger began to rise as I realized it was playing Bella's melody. Flashbacks to our first kiss, which happened on that same piano bench, came flooding back to me. She had been nervous as I played for her, but relaxed as time went on. When I looked over, her smile was so magnificent I had to kiss her.

But this piano didn't deserve to be played any longer. If Bella didn't want me, then I didn't want any memories to haunt me. I threw open the glass door to the patio and headed out to the shed. I flung the door open, searching for the right tool. My eyes spotted the silver shine of the axe. I picked it up—it was heavy, but I had upper body strength.

As I headed back towards the house, I noticed it had begun to rain. Thunder and lightning filled the sky, adding to the treacherous night that had occurred. Cold droplets fell to my chest, but I didn't bother wiping them away. My pants began to stick to me as they were covered in Mother Nature's own tears. But I would not cry.

I stomped back into the house, letting the mud from my shoes track all over the floor. I eyed the piano dangerously.

"Say your prayers, bitch," I muttered to it as I took my first swing at the top. Wood erupted into the air, and I pulled back and swung again. Off-key musical notes rang out. I didn't stop until the piano looked like it was part of an underwater shipwreck recovery.

I dropped the axe and looked around, surveying my damage. The house looked like a tornado had come through, tearing up whatever was in its wake. Those hostile tears began to form in my eyes. With one last deep breath, I sank down on the stairs, letting my anger and grief overcome me as the sobs rocked through my body.

_'Please, just go.'_

**A/N: point of clarification: the italic phrases are from Bella…in case you were confused.**

**This is something I've been seeing in my head over the last couple of days—and when it won't go away I have to write it down. **

**Yes? No? Potential story? Only reviews will help end the questioning and the dilemma….**


	2. Chapter 2

**A Great Fall- Chapter 2**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its associated characters—those belong to Steph. Meyer.**

**A/N: Poor Edward won't leave me alone sometimes, so I decided to share some of his pain with you. In case you were wondering, I've been listening to one song each time I sit down to write for him—"Need" by Hana Pestle. You can check the song out on her myspace at http://www[dot]myspace[dot]com/needfornewmoon and also join the campaign to get the song on the New Moon soundtrack!**

**This story is dedicated to hammondgirl, because I love her so much.**

[ Edward ]

A soft knock came from the distance. I turned to get more comfortable, only to find that my back was aching. I opened my eyes after finally crying myself to sleep sometime in the early morning. The knocking became louder and more incessant. Someone was calling my name.

"Edward? Edward, are you in there? Open up!"

"Fuck," I groaned as I recognized the familiar voice. I rubbed my eyes with my fists, willing the redness and puffiness to go away.

"I'll bust the door down, son."

"I am not your fucking son," I muttered to myself as I headed over to the front door, stepping around all the havoc I had wreaked the night before. I unlocked the dead bolt and the door lock, twisting the knob and letting it fall open.

I stared blankly at the man in front of me—he was a good man.

He peered in to my house. "Edward, are you all right? I got a phone call…"

I waved my hand behind me. "Oh, this?" I laughed manically.

"Did someone hurt you?" he questioned, looking over my body, his eyes settling on my hand which was still wrapped in my t-shirt.

I grunted. "I guess you could say that." I turned and began to walk towards the kitchen. I heard him shut the door behind him, his boots crunching against broken glass and other debris.

"The neighbors said they heard loud noises and broken glass…" he started.

I pulled a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water from the tap. "They were right," I said blankly.

He stood in the doorway, looking between the kitchen and the living room. I heard his sharp intake of breath and I couldn't look at him—I knew he had seen the piano.

"Edward…" he breathed, turning back to me. "What happened?"

I felt the burning sensation in my chest return, and I couldn't hold it in. My shoulders began to shake and a loud sob escaped my throat. I dropped the glass of water as I sunk to my knees, throwing my body towards the ground.

I heard him cross the room to me, placing a firm hand on my shoulder. I was sure I had freaked him out with my display of emotion. "Son, whatever it is, we can fix it…"

I looked up at him, my face red and covered in tears that wouldn't stop coming. I was breathing heavy and my heart felt like it was literally breaking. "I am not your fucking son, Charlie!"

He removed his hand from my shoulder and he coughed. "Tell me what happened."

"Oh like you don't know! Did Bella send you over here to check on me? Did she look all sunshine and roses? Did she? Was she happy? Was she smiling?!"

"S—Edward, I can't help you if you don't tell me what happened." He was using his stern police voice now.

I felt my heart rip in two as I shouted at him. "She fucking left me! She doesn't want me! She loathes me!"

Charlie's eyes went wide. "Who, Bella?"

"Who the fuck else would I be talking about?!" Another sob overtook my body and I pushed myself up by my hands, more glass sinking into my wet skin.

"Bella didn't say anything to me. I've been at the station all night—I haven't talked to her. What exactly did she say to you?"

I felt my stomach lurching and I rushed to the bathroom to throw up. I splashed cold water on my face and looked up into the mirror. I could hardly recognize myself—my eyes were swollen and my skin was blotchy and red. My hair was sticking all over (not that that was unusual), but it didn't seem to hold the same appeal that it once did.

My heart was aching, and my throat was sore. I stumbled back down the hall, finding Charlie in the living room, trying to clean up some of the mess I had made.

"Leave it," I said blankly.

"Edward, you need to go see your Dad and have him look at your hand."

I nodded.

"So you did all of this yourself?" He gestured around the room.

I nodded again.

He cast his eyes down. "You didn't—hurt her—did you?"

I could tell he didn't want to be asking me that question.

"I would never," I whispered hoarsely.

"I know," he said. He looked up at me. "If you ever need anything, I don't want you to hesitate to ask. This will all blow over, Edward; but until it does, I think it's best to give Bella some space."

I knew what he was doing—he was warning me from trying to come over with any grand gestures. I was pretty sure the demolition of my house was enough to scare him into thoughts of what would happen if he wasn't home when I showed up and became upset.

I nodded. "Yes, Chief."

I looked at him and his eyes looked sad as well. He placed a hand on my shoulder reassuringly as he walked past and out the door. I waited for a few minutes until I heard the cruiser jump to life and take off down the street.

The slow ache had reappeared in my chest. I knew this was an unending battle—one that would only end when Bella and I were reunited.

I spotted a small plant on a shelf that had somehow missed last night's events. I picked it up, rotating it in my hands.

"It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all," I sneered as I threw the plant down on the ground, it's clay pot smashing to pieces. "What the fuck did you know, Alfred Lord Tennyson."

**A/N: Thanks to a few special people: Little Miss Masen and theotherbella. Please review—it's the only way I can really know what you're thinking.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Contrary to popular belief, I do not own Twilight or its characters. I do, however, own an Edward Cullen action figure, who answers to the name of Lil Eds.**

**A/N: new chapter I've been sneakily working on during homework and study breaks. I thought it'd be nice to give you guys something new once in a while, right?**

**As always, dedicated to hammondgirl: this is for you, LK.**

I'm not sure how long I dozed off after Charlie left, but I know I slept in fitful dreams. I woke up in my bed, thrashing, the covers tangling my arms and legs, making it almost impossible to breathe.

"Bella! Bella, where are you?! Bella don't leave me!" I screamed as hot tears flowed down my face.

My cell phone was beeping and I grabbed at it, flipping it open. One new text message.

_Edward I was thinking about setting up a double date for you, Bella, Jasper, and me. Sound good?—Alice._

I felt my stomach begin to dry heave again as the realizations sank in. She didn't know—Alice didn't even know.

My fingers began texting her back.

_Sounds good—let me know when/where. –E._

My body was covered in sweat, and somehow I had changed into pajama pants and a white t-shirt. I looked at the clock—it was 2:30 in the afternoon. I had slept all day. My hand was throbbing, and I knew I would have to get it checked out before I went out with Jasper, Alice, and Bella. That is, if Alice didn't figure out Bella had left me already.

I peeled the shirt from my body and tossed it towards the hamper which was already overflowing with clothes. I shuffled towards the bathroom, leaning over to turn on the water. As the steam began to fill the small room, I stepped out of my pants and under the water. I let it run down my back, attempting to wash away the bad memories and the haunting thoughts of living life without Bella.

I pushed back another round of tears that threatened as I washed my hair with my good hand, letting the water and soap clean out the wound on my bad hand.

After the water had run cold, I stepped out and toweled off, wrapping it around my waist. I grabbed a pair of khaki pants and pulled on a rusted red t-shirt. I slipped on some shoes and headed downstairs and out the door, not even bothering to look at the mess I had made.

My phone beeped again in my pocket. One text message.

_Edward I think we need to talk…--Alice_

Fuck. She knew.

I slid into my car and drove off, headed for the hospital. I figured my dad was still on shift and could stitch me up at least.

I stopped at a red light and watched other cars barrel across the intersection. I contemplated stepping on the gas and seeing if I could get by unscratched, but shook myself out of the crazed idea.

I drove to the hospital and parked, slowly walking towards the Emergency Room. All around me people were coughing, crying, or simply just passed out. I shuddered—I hated when my dad was working in the ER.

I walked up to the counter and smiled at Helen, one of the head nurses in the ER. She grinned at me.

"Edward, so good to—" She gasped as she saw my hand, wrapped up in a white hand towel from the house."What happened here?" She looked sternly.

I shrugged. "Just cut it on some glass…"

"Well you look dreadful—have you been eating?"

I nodded. "Helen, is my dad in? I was hoping he could…fix…this."

She nodded. "I'll let him know you're here." She stood up from her chair and scurried back towards the offices and rooms.

My fingers drummed against the countertop, creating a haunting melody—_her song._ I immediately stopped tapping.

"Edward?" I heard my dad call, a slight panic in his voice. I looked up at him and as I caught his gaze. I saw a strange look in his eyes—hurt. It wasn't a disappointing look, like he'd given me the time I snuck out to go drink beers on the football field with Emmett and Jasper back in high school. No, it was much different than that.

He looked down at my hand as he took the three strides to get to me. He picked it up gingerly, and I winced because it was so tender.

"What happened?" He asked.

I felt the stinging of tears building up and I swallowed—hard.

"Come with me," he said softly as he turned and headed towards one of the exam rooms. He ushered me in and closed the door, his back against it. He stared at me as I sat down on the chair, the paper lining crinkling beneath me.

"Edward, did you get in a fight?"

"You could say that," I choked out, wanting to hold back the tears.

He walked over and began unraveling the hand towel. His eyes widened as he saw the deep cut, fragments of glass still shimmering in the blood.

He hustled about the room, collecting supplies and setting them on a rolling tray. I tried not to watch him, staring at the poster of an ear on the wall.

He wheeled the cart over and sat down on a stool. He began to irrigate the wound, plucking bits of glass every now and then.

"You need to tell me what happened," he said sternly.

"I cut my hand on some glass," I replied plainly and matter-of-factly.

"Edward Anthony," he chided.

I sighed. "I broke a bowl."

"Did you drop it in the kitchen?" He inquired.

"No, not exactly." I winced as he pulled another glass fragment out and it plunked into the silver tray.

"Well why don't you tell me e_xactly_ what happened, then?" He said through a clenched jaw.

A tear leaked down my face and I furiously wiped it away. "Bella broke up with me. I may have thrown a few things around the house out of anger," I sniffled.

Carlisle stared down at the glass fragments. "Please don't tell me that's your mother's crystal."

I continued to stare down at the floor. "I am sorry about that."

He exhaled loudly. "Well, we can replace it before she finds out. The damage can't be that bad."

I scoffed.

He began to stitch up my hand. "And how is Bella handling all of this?"

"I wouldn't know—she doesn't want to talk to me, or see me, or even know I exist anymore. "

"Edward, you're being a little dramatic…"

I looked at him pointedly and he resumed the stitches.

"I'm sure you two will work things out. She'll come around—she truly loves you."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," I muttered under my breath.

Carlisle patted my hand. "There, all done." He handed me some pills and a glass of water. "This will take the throbbing down considerably. I want you to go home and rest."

"My apartment isn't exactly a calming environment."

"How bad is it?" He asked.

My eyes shifted down to the floor again.

"So then it's decided: you'll come home for a few days until you get yourself back together. Your mother will be happy. But let's not tell her about the destruction, okay? We don't want to worry her anymore than she already does."

I nodded. We had recently learned that my sister Alice was pregnant, but facing potential complications. My mother stayed up for hours on end researching the internet for the latest information and details.

Carlisle looked at his watch. "I'll get off shift around 6ish, so I expect to be home for dinner." I stood and he pulled me into a side hug. "Hang in there, son. Things will work out just fine."

I thanked him and walked out of the exam room and towards the hospital exit. I looked around again at the patients there—surely they were worse off than me.

But while they were dealing with physical pains, waiting for a medicine to heal them, I was dealing with heartache of the broken kind.

And for that, I didn't think there was a cure.

********

**A/N: Poor Edward. He really needs some love. **

**So does my awesome beta, Little Miss Masen.**

**Shameless plug: I am in a contest over on kittenmischief's author's page for my one-shot of Carlisle and Esme in "The Muffin Man." Please read it, and if you love me, vote for it! I'm in 3****rd**** place right now!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I play with characters that are not my own. **

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I left the hospital and drove back to my apartment to pack a bag. I called Alice after I pulled the small suitcase out from under my bed and flipped it open. She answered as I was staring into my closet.

"It sure is about time you called me back," she huffed.

"Well hello to you, too, sister."

"Don't you give me that sweet sister crap. What the hell happened, Edward?"

I pulled a pair of jeans off my shelf, tossing them towards the suitcase. I was staring at my shoe rack. "What are you talking about?" I asked coolly.

"I talked to Bella this morning…"

"What did she say?" I asked hurriedly.

"See! I knew you wanted to know!"

I groaned. "Why don't you just tell me instead of playing mind games with me?"

"You two broke up and neither of you thought it was important to tell me?! Edward, really?! I am your only sister!"

"I figured Bella would tell you and that she probably needed a friend so she would call you."

I could almost feel her softening on the other end. "Aw, even now you're still looking out for her best interests."

"I love her, Alice. That hasn't changed."

"I know. So what happened?"

I sighed, grabbing a few pairs of socks and chucking them towards the suitcase, where they landed just short. "I don't know. I went over to her house to watch a movie, and when I got there she just…" my heart started beating fast as my brain recalled the conversation. I felt tears coming to my eyes again. "She just…told me to go."

She listened patiently. "Had things been weird the last few days?"

"Alice, you have to tell me what she said. Is she alright? Have you seen her?"

"Slow down, Edward, gee! I did talk to her—she seems a little upset."

My heart dropped. "How much is a little?" I pushed.

She sighed. I knew she didn't want to tell me.

"Alice…please? I have to know that she's going to be okay."

"Edward, I can't tell you that. I don't know if she'll be okay. She sounded terrible on the phone and she wouldn't even let me go see her. Whatever happened between you two was bad."

I swallowed—hard. Bella was miserable? Bella was alone?

"Alice, I've gotta go…"

"Oh, no you don't, mister! You are not going anywhere near that girl! If you ever want to have her back in your life, you will give her some space! Do you hear me, Edward Cullen?"

I groaned. "Alice, I need her; I can't breathe without her—my life doesn't exist without her in it."

"Stop being dramatic, it's giving me a headache and it stresses me out. And you know I can't be stressing out right now…"

I frowned. "I know. I'm sorry, Alice. I'm really sorry."

She giggled. "You better be or I won't let you within ten feet of your niece—"

"A girl?! It's a girl?!" I asked excitedly.

"Aw crap. Don't tell anyone, okay? Jasper and I were gonna tell Mom and Dad this weekend..."

I smiled. _A girl._ "I promise, Alice. You can count on me!"

"Thanks. Well, I am gonna go. Hang in there, okay, Edward? Everything will work out like it's supposed to. Trust me on this one."

"Ok, thank you, too, Alice. I love you."

She faked a sniffle. "I love you too!"

I hung up the phone and packed enough clothes for a few days and shoved my toiletries in a bag. My room had taken the least damage, with some pictures thrown off the dresser and a hole in the wall from my attempt to punch through it.

I zipped the suitcase and carried it downstairs, again not looking at the mess that was everywhere. I locked the door, tossed the suitcase in the trunk of my car and headed across town to my parents' house.

******

As soon as I pulled into the driveway of my parents' house, my mom was out the door and bounding down the gravel towards me, arms open.

I stepped out of the car and ran my fingers through my hair.

"My baby, my poor baby," she cried as she pulled me into her arms. I now towered over her, finally hitting my growth spurt over the last year or so. I wrapped an arm around her, comforting her.

"Hi, Mom."

"Sweetie, your Dad called and told me you were coming to stay for a few days. He mentioned you were having a rough time…"

I figured my dad had already spilled the beans to her about Bella and me. It was smart of him to do that, because it saved me from having to go through the tears again. The internal pain I could deal with, but the external? That was a different story.

I grabbed my bag from the trunk and carried it in behind my mom, who was going on and on about the food she was going to make. The funny thing was, I only lived about 20 minutes away—the way she carried on, you would think I lived 20 hours away.

I slipped my shoes off at the door and dropped my bag at the foot of the stairs. I collapsed on the couch, leaning back and putting my hand over my eyes.

I heard my mom gasp. "Honey, what happened to your hand?"

_Quick, think of a sensible lie._ "Oh, I dropped a glass bowl in the kitchen. Don't worry, Dad stitched it up."

I heard her set a plate and glass down on the coffee table. I felt her body sink into the cushion next to mine. Her hand sat softly on my knee. "Edward, what happened with Bella?"

I took a deep breath. "She left me, Mom. She doesn't want me anymore."

"I'm sure that's not true. Bella---"

"She told me herself!" I snapped. My mom balked back, shocked by my outburst.

I frowned and pulled her toward me. "I'm sorry, Mom. I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just still sore, you know? I…I love her."

She kissed my cheek, ruffling my hair. "Do you remember when you were younger, and you were scared when your Father left for work because you thought he was leaving because he didn't love us anymore?"

I nodded.

"Well, you know that wasn't true. So what makes this any different with Bella?"

A tear slipped down my cheek. I was fucked; now I had given in to the external. "She said it."

"What? That she didn't love you anymore? I don't buy that for a second, Edward. And neither should you. That girl is in love with you."

I shook my head. "Not anymore."

She looked down at her hands for a few minutes before she looked back up at me. "What did you do?"

"Can we talk about this later? I think I'd like to take a nap. My hand hurts."

She nodded. "Of course, honey. I'll come wake you before dinner, alright?"

I gave her a small smile. "Thanks, Mom."

I grabbed my bag and headed up to my old bedroom. I opened the door to find it exactly as I had left it. I dropped my bag in the chair, kicked off my jeans, and laid on the bed. I closed my eyes, and before I drifted off to sleep, I heard her voice.

_'I just can't love a lie.'_

********

**A/N: I love my readers. You have all been so patient with me while I finished up my last semester of school. I am now a Master in search of a job! **

**And if you haven't read on my author's page, I am back to writing! I gotta give Little Miss Masen something to do, don't I? **

**Edward is haunted by Bella. You know what would make him feel better? Reviews. He likes to know what you're thinking.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I play with characters that are not my own.**

**A/N: As always, thanks to Little Miss Masen, and Hammondgirl, this is your fic.**

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I woke up many hours later, my hand throbbing and my eyes swollen from my earlier crying. I looked at my cell phone and saw it was almost 10:00 p.m. I wondered why my mom didn't wake me for dinner, and got up, throwing on a pair of sweatpants. I was walking down the hallway when I heard voices. I stepped quietly to the end of the hall, crouching at the top of the stairs.

"It can't be that bad," I heard Carlisle say.

"It is, Dad! She looks so unhealthy and just…lost. I'm really worried about her. I don't know what to do and she won't let anyone look at her. Luckily Charlie answered the door and let me in—otherwise, I don't think I'd have seen her."

My heart began to pulse quickly. My vision became fuzzy, and I blinked hard, trying to remain in focus. I took a few deep breaths.

"Carlisle, we have to do something," Esme begged.

"It's not our place, girls."

I heard Alice huff and stomp her foot. "Dad, it IS our place—Bella is like a sister to me! Charlie's all torn up about it, and we're the only ones who can help!"

"Alice, that is enough," Carlisle said sternly. "I know that Bella is like a sister to you; she is also like a daughter to your mother and I. However, we cannot get involved in this. Edward and Bella need to resolve things on their own—and we don't need to be meddling with the outcome of things." I could only imagine he was staring straight at Alice who was most likely pouting.

"Alice, please don't interfere," Esme asked.

"She is my best friend, and he is my brother. I love them both and this needs to be fixed."

There was quiet, which I could only assume was a stare down between the three of them.

"Not a word of this is to be mentioned to Edward," Carlisle said reluctantly.

My heart stopped. I pictured Bella alone in her room, curled up in a ball crying. I had never felt more awful in my entire life—knowing that I was responsible for all of this made me want to vomit. I stood up and stood against the wall, catching my breath. After a moment or two I raced back to my room and grabbed my cell phone and texted Bella.

_'Can we please talk? I'm so sorry, Bella.'_

I waited, staring at the phone and willing it to vibrate, ring, or signal anything that she had received my message and sent one back. The seconds felt like hours dragging by.

Nothing came back. So I tried again.

_'I love you. Please just talk to me. We can fix this.'_

I heard footsteps on the stairs and I knew someone was coming in to check on me. I threw myself on the bed and slid under the covers, trying to pretend I was asleep. The doorknob turned and the door quietly opened.

"Edward?"

It was Alice. Shit.

She walked over to the bed. "I know you're awake. Your eyelids are twitching."

I groaned, shoving a pillow over my head. "What do you want, Alice?"

"Is that anyway to greet your pregnant sister?"

I pulled the pillow off my head and looked over at her, my hand rubbing her belly which was beginning to stick out. "Hi, princess. Uncle Edward loves you."

She sighed. "What happened to your hand?" She asked with one eyebrow raised.

"I dropped a bowl." My head fell back on the pillow and I shut my eyes, willing the throbbing away.

"Lie. Wanna tell me the truth?"

"I accidentally broke my mirror."

"Lie number two."

"Well, geez, Alice, why don't you just tell _me_ what happened?"

She pointed a finger at me and looked cross. "You jacked up your apartment. I went there looking for you before I called mom and found out you were staying here. Don't worry, I didn't tell her. But, hell, Edward, that place is in shambles!"

"I got a little upset alright? I'll clean it up, no big deal."

"No big deal? Do you have any idea what you did? You hacked your piano into sawdust!"

I furrowed my brows together. "Yes, I know what I did. I was there, remember?"

"You're going to fix all this, Edward. Bella is my best friend and I will not let you sit by and brood and mope and---"

My phone vibrated, and Alice's trained stalker-eye went straight to it.

I reached for it, but she was quicker then me.

"Who would be texting you?"

She stared at it for a second, and then looked at me. "Did you text Bella?"

"Uh, um..." I ran my hand through my hair, stalling.

"After I told you to leave her alone?!"

"You just told me to fix this, and now you're mad at me for texting her? I will never understand you—sometimes you act so bipolar!"

She slapped my arm. "Don't you put this on me. What did you text her?"

I huffed, crossing my arms across my chest. "I don't have to tell you."

"I can just look for myself," she said, flipping the phone open.

I reached up and snagged it from her. "Invasion of privacy much?" I held the phone to my chest, savoring the unread text message.

"I just want to help!"

"If you want to be a help, hire someone to clean my apartment for me. "

Her eyes began to water. "Why won't you let me help you? Who else knows both you and Bella better than I do?"

I sighed. "I just want her back, Alice."

"What did you text her," she said calmly.

"That I was sorry, that I loved her, and that I wanted to talk to her."

She nodded. "That doesn't seem too harsh."

I looked down at my phone.

_One new message: Bella._

"Well, aren't you going to read it?" She asked.

I nodded and she squeezed my hand in support. I clicked the 'view' button.

'_It's over—'we' no longer exist.'_

I felt the sobs come again as I threw myself into Alice's waiting arms.

********

**A/N: Sorry for the length in time between updates—I now have three current stories up: The Right Side of Wrong, A Great Fall, and Summer Spurs (which is new, btw). So I am trying to update them all equally. **

**Thanks for the reviews, and don't forget to vote for your favorite fics in the Indie Awards and the Bellies!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, its characters, or any of that like--Stephenie Meyer does.**

**A/N: I know I promised a Summer Spurs update first, but I was in the mood for this story. Thanks to everyone who voted for it in the Indie TwiFic Awards!**

**As always, this is for hammondgirl, and thanks to my beta, Little Miss Masen.**

**********

After a few days of lying in bed, only coming downstairs to eat, I began to feel a renewed strength within me. Alice had come over and sat with me a few times, holding me while I cried. The heaviness in my heart never ceased, but began to fade. It was one afternoon that I heard the front door open and shut, and feet shuffled up the stairs.

The door opened and my dad looked in at me with a sullen face. "You need to get yourself back together."

"Don't you think I know that?" I asked blankly as I looked out the window into the dark forest.

"I'm serious, Edward. You're going to go back to your apartment and clean that mess up. Then you're going to take a shower, sit down and figure this all out. You sitting and sulking is not going to make things better with Bella. And your mother is worried absolutely sick."

"She won't talk to me, Dad! I've tried!"

"Stop throwing a tantrum. Get up and take a shower, and go home."

With that, he shut the door and headed off down the stairs. I glared at the door before peeling off my sweaty, fitful sleep clothes and showering. I let the hot water sear my body, my skin turning pink and red in spots. The water rushing down my face helped awaken me from my haze, and I did feel a bit renewed.

I changed into some cargo shorts and a t-shirt, slipping on my tennis shoes and dropping my phone into my pocket. I took the stairs two at a time, desperate to get my life back on track. Mom was sitting at the kitchen island, looking out the window into the backyard. I walked up and sat next to her.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, staring down at the grain of the wood countertop.

She placed her hand on my back, rubbing it soothingly. "I just worry about you, Edward. I haven't seen you this low before. You can't be so hard on yourself. Things will work out just as they are supposed to, and there isn't anything you can do to change that."

"I just want her back."

She set her glass down on the counter and stood up, pulling my face into her hands.

"You listen to me, and you listen to me good, Edward. As your mother it is my duty to slap some sense into you every now and then; now being one of those times. If you want Bella back, you're going to have to do more than just sit around and act like a zombie."

She stopped herself from continuing.

"What do I do?" I asked meekly.

I saw her battle within herself for a moment before she spoke. "I can't tell you exactly what you should do, but I can tell you that if you sit here, you're going to lose her. What happened, honey?"

"I-I-I don't know. I went to pick her up, and she was angry. I'd never seen her like that before. She wouldn't let me touch her, or talk to her. She just started yelling. She wasn't making any sense, Mom. And then she just started crying, and hitting me, telling me to get out. That she never wanted to see me again. That she…she didn't know me anymore. I don't know what I did—whatever it was, I would change it in an instant!"

"Maybe she just needs to know that you're still the same sweet boy she fell in love with."

I stood up, nodding. "Thanks, Mom. For everything. Really."

She smiled softly, squeezing my hand. "You're welcome."

I hugged her and left, driving across town to my apartment. When I got to my front door, I saw a note with my name scribbled on it in Alice's handwriting.

_Fix this, then fix her._

I opened the door to the wreckage I had abandoned days ago. Everything was just as I had left it. I crunched on glass and broken wood as I walked into the apartment, curtains torn and the couch cushions busted. I ran my hand through my hair and let out a deep sigh.

Walking into the kitchen, I grabbed some garbage bags and a broom. I shuffled around the living room, getting rid of the larger pieces of debris first. I must have worked for hours, only stopping to get a drink of water once or twice. I still had barely made a dent in the damage.

I continued to work, picking up papers and putting them in a stack. As I picked up the back of a chair I had smashed, I saw a broken picture frame underneath it. I squatted down, picking it up and bringing it closer to my face.

I had to choke back tears as I saw the picture of Emmett, Rose, and Bella. They all looked so happy. I remembered taking the picture one Fourth of July. We had a barbeque in the backyard of my parents' house, and Charlie and Dad were in charge of the grill. Emmett decided a game of tag would be a good idea, and the picture showed him jumping at both Rose and Bella, smiles across their faces as they ran from him.

It was such a happy time, and something had gone and ruined all of that. I wiped the sawdust off the glass, which was cracked down the middle. I stared at it for a few more minutes, enjoying the laughter in Bella's eyes and the sparkle that she always had.

I stood up and set it on the shelf next to the television. In a room full of chaos and debris, this picture was one of the few things that had survived my anger and rage. I closed my eyes, savoring the memories I could recollect of Bella's laugh.

"I will make this right. I love you, always," I whispered to the picture.

I would make things right—there would be no other option.

******

**A/N: I love getting your reviews on this—I keep seem to getting the same question so I thought I would address it here:**

**What happened between Bella and Edward?**

**It's coming out, I promise. But since the chapters are shorter, it will be a little while. But we are getting there. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters. I do own a Lil Edward action figure, and he has a lot of character.**

**A/N: This chapter's not so broody, hope that makes you guys cheer. As always, thanks to Little Miss Masen, and hammondgirl, this is for you.**

********

I woke up the next morning feeling refreshed and slightly…optimistic. I showered, brushed my teeth, and threw on some basketball shorts and a t-shirt. I scurried downstairs and out the door, slipping on some flip-flops that were on the porch. I jumped in my car and drove to the local diner. On the way there, I texted Alice and asked her to meet me. When I pulled into the parking lot, I spotted her waiting on the bench by the door. I got out and she smiled at me, trying to gauge my mood.

I walked up to her swiftly, throwing an arm around her shoulder. "You're a regular Speedy Gonzalez aren't you?"

She peered up at me cautiously. "Who are you, and what have you done with my brother?"

I kissed the top of her head. "I'll explain over breakfast."

We walked in and sat down in one of the retro-style booths, the red vinyl sticking to my legs already. I picked up a menu and tried to decide if I wanted French toast or pancakes when Alice's hand snatched the menu away from me. "Hey!" I whined.

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Are you on drugs?"

"No! What are you talking about?"

"Well the last few days you've been staring at the wall and crying. And suddenly today you are cheerful and out in public acting like nothing is wrong. What gives, Edward?"

I took a deep breath and looked at her. "Last night when I was…rummaging…through my apartment, I found a picture of Emmett, Rose, and Bella. It just got me thinking, and…I don't want to give up on this—I mean, I love her more than anything or anyone ever. She might not want to talk to me right now, but she will. I want to know what I did wrong so I can fix it. You were right—I can fix this. And that's exactly what I woke up planning to do."

She quirked an eyebrow at me. "So you have a plan?"

I shrugged, pulling the menu back from her and folding it back together. "No, but I figured I would come up with something." I looked up to the waiter who was standing by our table. I motioned to Alice to order first.

"I'll have the spinach breakfast skillet and an orange juice."

I looked up at him. "I'll have a cup of coffee and the French toast, bacon and hash browns on the side, please."

He nodded, grabbed our menus, and walked off to put in our order.

I looked at Alice and smiled.

"You're creeping me out, Edward. How can you be so…back to normal?"

I shrugged. "I just feel like something good can happen today."

"I'm not cleaning your apartment for you," she said warily.

I shook my head. "I wasn't even expecting you to, darling sister."

"So, what tricks do you have up your sleeve?"

Our food came and I successfully avoided her question and stares. I delved into the French toast with new gusto, moaning my appreciation as it filled my stomach. Alice pointed her fork at me.

"Is it cocaine?"

I coughed, almost spitting my coffee at her. "What?"

"I've heard that drugs make people do weird things."

"Alice, I'm not on drugs."

She stared at me. "I could have Dad drug test you. Steal your piss or something," she said, giving me one last out.

I made a disgusted face. "I'm not on drugs."

"Well what the hell are you on? Red Bull?"

"I'm in love."

She fished around in her purse, pulling out her cell phone. She held it up, snapping a picture of me. "I want to remember this moment forever."

I chuckled, paying for our bill and slapping a tip down on the table as we walked out. We stood by her car and I hugged her tightly. "Thank you, baby sister."

She punched me in the gut and I let out a huge gust of air. "I don't trust you. You're up to something, and don't think that for one second I'm going to give up until I find out what it is."

I shook my head, leaning one arm against her car, trying to catch my breath again.

She smiled sweetly and got in her car, driving off. I walked over to my car and got in, heading back to my place. When I walked in, I sighed at the huge mess that I still had yet to clean up. I grabbed some gloves and more trash bags and began filling them with debris. Once I had cleared a majority of the mess, I set the bags out by the dumpster. I clapped my hands together and walked back in.

I got to work, picking up shards of glass and smaller splinters of wood. I set furniture back upright and vacuumed up what I could. I went into the kitchen where I picked up broken plates and all the other things I had thrown in my angst-rage. I mopped the linoleum floor and wiped the counters. Walking back into the living room, I leered over at the piano. Part of me wanted to leave it there, case it in glass, and turn it into a museum piece/reminder of the darkest time in my life. Part of me just wanted it gone.

I texted my dad, who said he would have some cleaners come in and remove the piano sometime during the week, and they could clean up the smaller fragments of things I had left behind as well. I thanked him and threw my phone down on the couch. I sighed at the busted cushions and grabbed a piece of paper and made a list of all the things that would need to be replaced:

_Piano. Couch. Entertainment Center. Bookshelf. Coffee table. Crystal vase._

I flinched at the last one. Hopefully I could find the exact replica to that—I might need to enlist Alice's help for that one. I wiped my forehead as I looked around the room—it didn't look too bad now that the majority of the mess was cleaned up. I felt a vibration from somewhere in the couch and I suddenly realized that I didn't know where my phone had landed. I pulled the cushions out from the frame before realizing that the phone had fallen into the ripped open cushion. I retrieved it.

_One new text: Bella._

My heart stopped. I'm almost sure I stopped breathing because I suddenly was very dizzy and my skin felt sticky and shaky. My fingers fumbled to flip the phone open. I stared at the screen for a second before I felt myself falling towards the ground—and then everything went black.

********

**A/N: yes, I know—another cliff-hanger. I promise in the next chapter you will find out what Bella's text said. I'm not THAT cruel.**

**On a sidenote, my girl charlsad and I have decided to collaborate on a story, "It's Not Stalking If You Don't Get Caught" and is pretty much the opposite of this story—all fun and no angst. Check it out if you find yourself in the mood for some laughs.**

**And, apparently I'm announcing my twitter account for anyone who wants to see what I'm up to when I'm not writing: melsvfp.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not Twilight or its characters, sadly.**

**Thanks to Little Miss Masen (I love you) and hammondgirl, this is for you.**

******

I woke up with a sudden jerk, my head pounding. What happened? What time was it? I closed my eyes as a wave of pain came over me and took deep breaths, willing it away. I'd probably have to call my dad and get him to write me a prescription or something. I ran my hand through my hair and found no trace of blood—that was a good sign. I must have blacked out or something earlier. I searched around the floor with my hand and found my cell phone flipped open.

I picked it up and pressed the sidebar, lighting the screen back up. My eyes re-read the words from the text message that I was certain had been the cause of my fade to black. I scanned them over and over, not sure if I was reading them correctly or not.

_I'm not ready to see you yet, but one day I will be._

As much as I wanted to curl up into a ball and cry and mope, I couldn't hide the grin that was threatening to creep up from my lips. She said one day she would be ready to see me again! This was great news!

I forwarded the text to Alice and asked her to let me know what she thought. I stood up and walked to the bathroom, pulling out a bottle of Ibuprofen and choking down three tablets for my headache. After contemplating for a moment or two, I shook another tablet out of the bottle and downed it as well—my head fucking hurt.

I stared at myself in the mirror. My face looked worn and pale, and my skin held a grayish tint to it. I had to get myself back together before I could see Bella again. My heart soared at the thought of looking into her eyes, touching her skin, holding her, loving her.

I still had a chance.

I grinned back at myself in the mirror before turning on the shower. I quickly undressed and stepped in, letting the hot water cascade over me. I pulled off my bandage over my hand and let the warm water seep into the stitches as well, cleansing it. It burned for a moment or two, but the self-loather inside me told myself that I deserved it for whatever I had done.

I couldn't wrap my mind around it—what could have made Bella so upset with me? What would make her push me away? To tell me she never wanted to see me again? What terrible and nightmarish thing did I do?

I wrapped a towel around myself after getting out of the shower and re-wrapped my wound. I brushed my fingers through my hair and shaved off the few days of stubble that had accumulated in my comatose state of existence. I threw on some clothes and headed into the kitchen. I made a sandwich and poured a glass of juice, chugging it and wiping my chin afterwards.

I slipped on my shoes and grabbed my keys, heading towards my car. I slid in behind the wheel and started the engine, the air vents blasting me in the face. I turned on the radio, searching for something to distract my mind. As I was turning as corner, my sunglasses fell out from the visor and towards the passenger side of the car. At a red light, I leaned over to grab them; as I was about to touch the plastic, my fingers grazed against something soft. I tugged at it with my pinky finger and it came loose from under the seat. I pulled it toward me, running my fingers over the soft silk.

It was one of Bella's headbands.

Like a lovesick fool, I pulled it towards me, sniffing it for any trace of her beautiful scent. Nothing. It must have been under there for a while because it smelled like candy and French fries. I sighed. _Fucking Emmett._

I held the headband between my fingers as I drove towards the furniture store. When I pulled into the parking lot, I sat for a few moments, staring at the dark purple silk. I felt comforted, having this in my hand; it was like I still had a part of her, no matter how insignificant it might seem.

I turned off the car and put the headband in my pocket. I walked in with my list and looked it over again.

_Piano. Couch. Entertainment Center. Bookshelf. Coffee table. Crystal vase._

I could at least get four out of the six items on my list today if I was lucky. I strolled around the showcases, fingering the cool wood and sitting on a couch every so often. I ended up picking out a cream-colored couch, and some dark mahogany wood pieces: the entertainment center, a bookshelf, coffee table, and two end tables. I grabbed the slips of paper to bring to the checkout. As I got to the front of the line, I felt my phone vibrate. I took it out and looked. _One new message: Alice._

_Just ran into Bella at the drugstore. She looked worse for wear but asked about you. Good sign!_

My heart did a familiar _thump-thump-thump_ and I exhaled in relief. Things might definitely be looking up. I tucked my hand in my pocket, my fingers grazing the silk headband. I felt myself smile, and even managed to be polite with the cashier as he rang up my furniture and took down my delivery information.

I drove back to my apartment with a feeling of accomplishment. I rolled the window down and let the slightly warm air hit my face. I pulled out my phone and began typing a message to Bella.

_I have something that belongs to you._

I sent it off and tapped my fingers against the steering wheel to an upbeat song on the radio. A few minutes later, my phone buzzed back. _One new message: Bella._

_You can keep my heart—it's always belonged to you._

******

**A/N: for ONCE, a non-cliffy ending! Sorry for the delay in updating—my Gram has been sick for weeks and was in the hospital, and as her favorite granddaughter, I have been helping care for her. So please bear with me between updates. Thanks!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, just a long list of excuses as to why I haven't updated.**

**mini a/n:thanks to the beta, Little Miss Masen, and hammondgirl, this is still for you.**

******

It had been two months since I'd last heard from Bella. Two long and terribly torturous months. She had texted me that I could keep her heart and my heart had soared with the hopes that we would reconcile soon.

Two fucking months.

She hadn't responded to my texts, e-mails, voicemails; hell, out of desperation I'd driven to see Charlie at work to give her a note from me. But still, nothing.

Alice had seen her a few times, but I guess now that Bella didn't want me anymore, she was trying to keep Alice at an arm's length. I think I was more upset about that then I was that she had left me—Alice was going to have a baby soon and she wanted her best friend there for her.

Which brought me to today.

I was busy carrying in bags of groceries for my mom, who was making all the food for Alice's baby shower. Jasper and Emmett were hanging some streamers and whatnot on ladder's while Alice kept shouting out directions to them. I was glad I got the task of helping my mom—at least she wouldn't be the balloon Nazi.

"Edward, can you bring the bag with the cream cheese in next if you see it? I want to go ahead and get started on the spinach dip."

I nodded and headed back out to her car. I sifted through the bags until I found the one with the boxes of cream cheese in it. I was just walking back through the front door when I heard a hushed conversation between Alice and Emmett.

"She's coming!" Alice squealed.

"Alice, be quiet! You don't want Edward to hear, do you? He will go ballistic! It's great that she's coming to your shower—I know it means a lot to you. But we have to keep this quiet."

I heard her sigh loudly. "I just want them to get back together. If we could just get them to sit and talk—"

"No meddling, Alice. Save it for your kid. Let them work it out on their own."

My heart had officially stopped beating. Bella was coming to the baby shower. Bella was going to be at my parents' house. Bella was going to be here. Where I was standing right now. Bella.

All kinds of scenarios rushed through my mind, ways that I could approach her, what I could say. Hell, at this point I'd even get down on my knees and beg.

She'd never told me why she had broken up with me, and I was still wondering what I had done wrong. If she'd tell me, I could just fix it…

I coughed loudly as I barreled through the living room and into the kitchen. I set the bag down on the counter and mom smiled appreciatively.

"Thanks, Edward. You've been such a help."

I pushed my hand through my hair, trying not to hyperventilate. "Mom?"

She unpacked the bag and started unwrapping ingredients she'd need. "Yes, dear?"

I shifted from foot to foot nervously. "Is Bella coming to the baby shower today?"

She paused and looked at me. "I'm not certain, but I think so," she said quietly.

I nodded. "And no one told me because they didn't think that I could handle it, right?"

"No, that's not it, Edward. We just didn't want you to beat yourself up with worry. We love you, you know. You are my son—I will always protect you. And sometimes that means keeping information from you that I think might throw you either into an angry rage or an emotional state of nothing."

"I get it, I really do. But I want, no, need, to see her today. It's been almost three months since I've seen her, smelled her, or touched her. Mom, I wake up and I crave her. And each day I'm reminded that I don't have her. How could she give me her heart and then leave me like this? I can't do it anymore."

She pulled me tight against her chest and I let a few stray tears fall from my eyes. After all this time I'd figured that I had dried up my tear ducts, but apparently not. She smoothed her fingers through my hair, offering words of assurance and comfort to me.

I pulled away from her, wiping my cheek with the back of my fingers. "Thanks," I mumbled softly as Mom began pulling out her ingredients and I walked back through the living room to get more groceries out of the car. I looked up at Jasper who looked exhausted and shrugged my shoulders. He shot me the finger when he checked to make sure Alice wasn't looking and I laughed.

I grabbed the rest of the bags and set them back in the kitchen. I filled the cooler full of ice and emptied some sodas and water bottles into it, wheeling it to the end of the tables that had been set up with food. Emmett walked by and snagged a handful of chips, shoving them in his mouth before he could be caught.

I laughed at him—if there was one thing I could count on, it was that Emmett would never let me sit and wallow. He shrugged his shoulders and put his finger over his lips in the 'shh' motion. I rolled my eyes and shoved him a little, grabbing a small cookie and popping it in my mouth, too.

I looked around at the party and everything looked great—the decorations were up and the food was slowly being put out on the table as mom finished it. I nodded my head in approval and went into the kitchen to say goodbye to my mom.

"I guess I should head out," I said reluctantly, wanting to hang around and see Bella, but knowing it wouldn't end well; I didn't want to ruin Alice's baby shower with my drama.

She hugged me and said she'd call me later. I was walking towards the door when the bell rang. Alice looked at me. "Can you get that, Edward? My feet are swollen."

I nodded. "Sure, I was just leaving anyway. Enjoy your shower, Al. I love you."

She smiled, "love you, too."

I walked to the front door and opened it.

My jaw dropped and I remember thinking I might pass out.

There she was. At my parents' house. Standing right in front of me.

"Bella."

******

**A/N: Yes, I know, another cliffy. By now you should know that's what I'm good for. Some of you have even dubbed me Queen of Cliffies. I take the title proudly.**

**Yes, I've been gone a while. Yes, I'm sorry. Please forgive me.**

**Reviews are appreciated, even if you want to yell at me. *cringes***


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**Mini a/n: thanks to the beta, Little Miss Masen, and hammondgirl, this is for you.**

******

I felt like I was staring at a ghost.

This wasn't Bella. It couldn't be. She looked much thinner, paler.

My heart ached.

Her eyes caught mine and she quickly looked away, down at her feet which were covered in her tattered shoes she loved so much.

"What are you doing here?" I asked stupidly, although I already knew the answer.

"Um, I came to give Alice her present," she mumbled quietly, her fingers fidgeting at a hole in her jeans pocket.

My pulse was beating in my ears and seconds felt like hours. I stood there watching her, unable to look away. Even in her state of disarray, she was painstakingly perfect to me.

"Excuse me," she said, careful to walk by me without brushing against me. I fell back and watched her as she walked over and gave Alice a small hug.

"It's not much, but I know you've been wanting one, so…" she spoke nervously, looking around at Jasper and Emmett who stood there, slack jawed.

Alice smiled and sat up, taking the gift and setting it down next to her. "C'mon, Bella, give your best friend a hug!"

Bella leaned down and softly hugged her. Alice whispered something to her but I couldn't make it out.

Jasper looked over at me and smiled apologetically.

"I…I can't stay. I have to be at work soon. I just wanted to give you something for…" she stammered.

"Abigail Leigh," she reported, grinning like a fool.

"That's beautiful," Bella replied, dancing from foot to foot.

"You'll still be the Godmother, and Aunt," Alice said.

Bella nodded. "Well, I'll, uh, call you soon, okay?"

She smiled. "Yes! You have to come help me decorate the nursery!"

I stayed near the door and watched as Bella gave a slight nod to everyone and turned for the door. Her eyes locked onto mine for a second and I felt my heart breaking all over again. The words from that awful night came back, haunting me.

_'Please, just go.'_

As she rushed past me, I followed her out onto the porch. I couldn't let her just walk away—two months could very well turn into years. If Bella wanted to hide from me, she'd find a way.

"Bella," I called again, my heart aching at the sound of her name.

She stopped at the bottom of the porch stairs, turning to face me. Her arm traced protectively around her waist and I saw her sharply inhale before looking at my face.

Again, I was floored by her appearance and the way she was shying away from me. I took a step forward and she took one back towards her car. I held my hands up in a gesture of surrender.

"It's been two months," I said lowly.

Her lower lip was busy being captured by her teeth.

"You never called," I reminded her.

Her eyes darted towards the woods and back to me.

"Were you ever going to talk to me again?" I asked my voice cracking.

Her eyes closed and stayed that way for what felt like hours. They opened agonizingly slow, stone cold.

"In time," she said.

I was growing agitated. "What the hell does that mean?!"

She cringed, stepping back. "You wouldn't understand."

"Of course I wouldn't because you never told me! You didn't talk to me—you just told me to leave!"

Her shoulders began to shake—I knew that I shouldn't push her. Bella was too stubborn and if she didn't walk to talk about it, she wasn't going to. I knew I should just let it go and hope for the best. But I couldn't. If she walked away now I would never know.

"You're just going to stand there while I am _dying_ inside," I spat.

Her eyes glazed over. "How dare you. How _dare_ you act like this isn't killing me."

"Then why don't you tell me what I did so I can apologize and we can both go back to living?!"

"It doesn't work like that! You can't just apologize for what you've done!"

She turned and headed for her car. I raced down the steps towards her.

She turned and glared at me. "Don't even think about touching me. My dad's a cop and he won't think twice about locking you up."

I stopped, my head spinning. My body felt like it had just been slammed into a brick wall. This wasn't her. This wasn't Bella. Not _my_ Bella.

"Don't do this," I begged, an angry and remorseful tear falling down my cheek.

She closed her eyes and shook her head, pushing her hair off her forehead. "I didn't. You did this. You hurt me. You broke me."

"I can fix this," I pleaded, reaching my hand out towards her. If I could just touch her, feel her, perhaps there was still hope for us.

She opened her eyes and stepped back, opening her car door. "You can't. No one can fix this."

I wanted to call to her, but my voice caught in my throat. I felt like I had swallowed a dozen razorblades and my insides were being cut apart with every ounce of rejection she showed me.

She stared back at me with cold, dead eyes. "I have to go." She opened her door and climbed in.

"I love you," I cried out desperately.

She looked up at me. "No, Edward, don't."

I watched her pull out of the driveway and after her car was gone; I collapsed onto the gravel and began wailing. My chest was heaving.

I had seen her. I had talked to her. I still wanted her.

But she no longer wanted me.

******

**A/N: hey gang, thanks for hanging in there with me. Yes, I know it took forever to update. Yes, I am still sorry. **

**Until next time, please drop me a review and let me know what you thought.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**Mini a/n: thanks to the beta, Little Miss Masen, and hammondgirl, this is for you.**

** ** **

I found myself two weeks later, hunched over my new piano, pounding out a haunting melody. Time hadn't made me feel better at all; in fact, I felt myself degenerating into an empty shell.

My fingers froze against the keys and I glared, fighting the urge to go grab the axe again and chop this down to slivers. I hated what I'd become and how much this piano reminded me of better days. I sighed heavily as I ran my hand across my face.

A knock at the door startled me, and I stood up to answer it. The last few weeks since I'd talked to Bella had been hell—I'd barely eaten, refused to get dressed, and almost never showered. I'd lie on the couch or in my bed and stare up at the ceiling, trying to figure out the moment where things went wrong.

I opened the door to find Jasper standing in front of me, a brown paper bag in his hand. I left him standing there as I headed back towards the living room, resuming my brooding state on the couch.

He followed in behind me a few seconds later and set the bag on the coffee table. "You need to eat."

I closed my eyes and inhaled. "I'm not hungry."

"That's bullshit and you know it. I know you don't want to hear this, but you and Bella aren't together anymore…"

I sat up. "Shut up. You don't know anything. Bella and I are going to fix this. We have to."

He raised an eyebrow towards me. "Is that so?"

I nodded fiercely. "Whatever happened, I can fix this. I just need to know what I did."

"How can you not know?" He asked while he pulled out some muffins from the bag, biting into one and crossing his legs as he sat near the coffee table.

"I've been thinking, and I can't come up with anything—therefore, it's got to be something I did and I didn't even realize it. How could I be so stupid?" I cried as I hit myself on the face.

"Whoa, buddy, calm down. This destructive behavior of yours has got to stop."

I glared at him. "What?"

He stared back at me. "Alice told me about your apartment."

My face began to heat up with anger.

"Before you go chopping her up, you have to understand—she is my wife. She worries about you, Edward. You are her brother—we've never seen you like this before. She stayed up late last night making this food for you, which you won't even eat because you're such a wallowing and selfish bitch."

Something in me snapped and within seconds I was across the coffee table and on top of him, punching and snarling. Jasper put up a good fight, but I think on some level he just let me beat the shit out of him so I'd feel better.

Eventually he pushed me off and I sat across from him, my chest heaving with anger.

"Do you feel better now?" He asked.

I growled and grabbed a muffin out of the bag, stuffing a huge bite of it into my mouth so I wouldn't have to talk to him.

He smiled. "I'll be sure to tell Alice that you enjoyed the muffins."

I shot him the finger and crashed back on the couch. I tossed the rest of the muffin onto the coffee table and resumed staring at the ceiling. "I've fucking blown it and I don't even know what I did."

"She still not talking to you?"

I sighed. "No. But I haven't tried to contact her, either. She was very clear that she wanted nothing to do with me. So now I'll just sit here and wait to die."

"That's a bit dramatic, Edward, really. She seems like she's doing better than you are."

I turned to look at him. "You've seen her?"

His face resembled the 'oh shit' face and he swallowed another bite of his muffin.

"When did you see her?"

He shrugged. "The baby shower, remember?"

I leered at him. That bitch was lying. "And since then?"

He sighed. "Don't make me say it, Edward."

I put my feet flat on the ground, leaning closer to look at him. "When did you see Bella?"

He rubbed his hand over his face and exhaled loudly. "I forgot I wasn't supposed to tell you, but she came over about a week ago to help Alice with the nursery."

I started seeing red. My own sister was hiding things from me now?! My fists began to clench and the room started to spin. "And she looked good?"

"Well, I wouldn't say good, but she looked better than she did the day at the baby shower. She was more relaxed and she smiled, too."

"How long did she stay? What did she talk about? Did she ask about me?"

Jasper groaned. "I don't know how long she stayed, maybe a few hours? She just talked about work, Charlie, her classes, nothing major."

"What about me?" I asked, feeling like I was going to go insane.

Jasper looked down at his hands, refusing to make eye contact.

"Jasper, you're like a brother to me. I need to know. I can't even begin to move on if I don't know." The truth was, I didn't think I'd ever be able to move on—but I needed to know if she'd cared enough to ask about me.

"She asked if you were okay," he said quietly.

"And what did you tell her?"

"That you'd eventually be alright."

"You lied! You are a liar! Get out of my house, you fucking asshole! How could you do this to me?"  
He stood up and we faced off. "It's for your own good. Move on, Edward. She doesn't want you anymore."

"Get out," I seethed. I threw my hands in the air and walked off, throwing a picture frame across the room. I heard it hit the wall with a loud crash and slammed my bedroom door.

I threw myself face first into the pillows and tried to calm my breathing.

The world was against me. I was done.

** ** **

**A/N: not what you were expecting? **

**As a side note, I haven't updated in a (long) while because I have been busy writing the rest of the story. I'm just about done and once it's all been sent to Little Miss Masen and comes back, I'll be updating regularly to show you how much I appreciate you! Thanks for hanging in there with me—we're getting close to all the action and I'm glad you've stuck around with me for this long!**

**And if you were wondering, the story will be either 19 or 20 chapters long in total, just to give you an idea of how much we've got left.**

**Happy New Years! Xo LMW**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**a/n: thanks to the beta, Little Miss Masen, and as always, Hammondgirl, this is for you.**

** ** **

I found myself becoming more desperate as time went on. The days passed slowly, but I began to go on with my life…to an extent. I registered for some online courses through the college and began pouring over books about philosophy and creative thought. It was just the trigger I needed to get me back in the swing of my life.

Alice and Jasper's baby was due within the next few weeks and I was getting excited. Jasper and I hadn't talked much since he came to my house but I was pleasant with him for Alice's benefit—I knew her pregnancy had been a long road for her and I didn't want to cause any extra stress.

I sat in my living room chair, reading about Aristotle and his ideals, when my cell phone buzzed. I looked up from my book and over to the opposite side of the room. The light on the display was glowing, taunting me. I turned back to my book, but my curiosity as to who the text was from made the words on the pages blur. I set the book down and wiped my eyes with the back of my hands. One look out the window told me it was nearing dinner time—the usual grey clouds had turned a nasty black as a storm threatened to fall over this sleepy town.

I jiggled my leg nervously against the chair, staring over at the phone again. Although I had begun moving forward with my life, I still felt sick every time my phone buzzed. Usually it was either my parents or Alice. I stopped hanging around with my other friends, and Emmett stopped talking to me because he said if he hung around me any longer he was going to become depressed.

I fought with myself inwardly. I should just keep reading and not let the phone run my life. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back against the chair. The ticking of the small clock on the bookshelf began driving me mad. My fingers drummed against the armrest as I fought to stay put in my chair.

My mind began deducing who could be texting. It wouldn't be my mom—she never really got on to the text bandwagon. It could be my dad, who only learned to text so he could get in touch with us from the hospital. It could be Alice, or maybe even Jasper, if Alice was going into labor early.

But if it were one of them, they'd call my house phone. I waited silently to hear if it would ring from its cradle. Seconds dragged by without the incessant chirping and my heart started to beat faster. I wet my lips and began my most recent coping/calming method.

Recitation.

"All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion, and desire," I said softly, the words of Aristotle.

I waited and still felt the anxiety creeping over me.

"Give me beauty in the inward soul; may the outward and the inward man be at one," I tried, hoping the words of Socrates would soothe me.

My leg was twitching still but my breathing had evened out some. I fought against my inner self and stood up, intending to turn towards my bedroom to escape.

Every time the phone had buzzed and it wasn't her, my world broke. My attempts at contacting her had proved futile—every text went un-replied, each e-mail deleted. I bumped into her father at the store and he assured me that Bella was doing fine. But what did fine mean? And why did Charlie look so drained all the time?

My fingers danced against my palm as I fought the urge to lunge and the evil piece of technology. I contemplated just giving in and putting myself out of my misery. But if it wasn't her I would be dead inside.

If I let myself think it could be her, for a few moments I might actually feel alive again. What was the harm in that?

I took a few careful steps towards my bedroom and flicked the light switch. The room was a mess, but it was an improvement from what it had been. I suspected my mom had been over the other day while I had to meet with my advisor on campus. I came back to find food in my fridge that wasn't pizza or Chinese, and clean towels in the bathroom.

I plopped down on the bed and let out a groan. The anticipation was almost killing me now. I cursed myself for not making a special alert noise on my phone for her. All the possibilities came flooding back to me as the panic set in again.

What if she was messaging me to tell me to never contact her again? What if she was through with me? What if there really was no hope for us anymore?

I felt a wave of nausea pass through me and I held myself still, waiting for it to pass. The cool fabric of the sheets helped me to stay focused and calm.

The phone buzzed again, a second message. I sat up and ran my hands through my hair, staring down the hall. One I could ignore for a little while, but the possibility of two would kill me.

I strode quickly down the hall and over to the phone. My hand reached out tentatively, grabbing for it cautiously like it might electrocute me. As my fingers molded around the square, I snatched it towards me. My eyes darted down.

Two new messages.

I flipped it open and exhaled forcefully, trying to cause the lightheadedness to pass.

"Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet," I recited quickly, counting on Plato to save me.

_Edward, its Bella. I think it's time we talked._

This wasn't happening. My legs started to feel like Jell-o as I quickly scrolled to the next message.

_Please get back to me if you want to meet._

My heart was swelling up and I felt that it might burst. Of course she hadn't indicated that there was a chance for us, but at least she was willing to sit down and talk with me.

I felt a smile creep up on my face as Aristotle's words came floating back to me.

"Hope is a waking dream."

** ** **

**A/N: I'm back again! I've got a few more chapters back from le beta so I will be posting them soonish! Thanks for the reviews and keep em coming! We're almost to the big reveal (it's around Chapter 14) so please hang in there! **


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**Mini A/N: Thanks to the beta, Little Miss Masen, and hammondgirl, this is for you.**

** ** **

So here I was, four text messages and almost a week later, sitting outside the local diner, nervous to go inside. I'd been happier in the last week, the relief of being able to explain myself to Bella taking a huge weight off my chest. I had slept better, eaten more, and even shaved my face. I met up with Alice two days ago, giving her the news. She wasn't as optimistic as I was.

"I've talked to her a few times, Edward, and whatever happened was a big deal. You should be very careful. And don't scream at her—girls don't like to be screamed at."

I fiddled with my keychain, letting my fingers trace over the indentations and letters. Bella and I had agreed to meet at 12:45, and it was almost time. I knew she was inside—her truck was in the parking lot. But for some strange reason I couldn't bring myself to go in. As much as I wanted to get this over with and get back to normal, a part of me wanted to make her wait, just like she'd done to me. I wasn't trying to be mean or spiteful, but she'd hurt my feelings and caused me to go to a very dark place. It wouldn't hurt her to sit for a few minutes.

My eyes flitted around, watching as other people walked through the parking lot, smiles on their faces. I hoped that after I left here today I'd be smiling, too. My phone buzzed in my pocket, signaling that it was time to go in. I stood up and brushed the dirt off the back of my jeans and took a deep breath. I peeked through the window but didn't see Bella. I grabbed the door handle and the door opened, the warmth inviting me in. I took the initial step inside, staring at the ceiling, almost fearful to find her. After a moment and a mental pep-talk, I looked down and surveyed the diner. She was there, sitting in the back. Her face was stuck in her menu, but I'd know her anywhere.

I walked over slowly, my pulse beating in my hands. I dug my fingers into my palms, letting my nails splice into my skin. Just as I was stepping up to the table, her eyes caught my shoes. They trailed up my body until they met my eyes. She looked away quickly, back at the menu.

I took a seat in the booth across from her after pulling off my jacket and setting it next to me. My heart started racing and I could feel it in my throat. I swallowed hard, trying to push it down. My hands picked at the sides of my jeans. I coughed lightly and she looked up at me.

"Hello, Bella," I said softly.

"Hi," she said quietly.

We didn't speak another word to each other until the waitress came. She was an older woman, perhaps in her late fifties, with a warm smile.

"Hello there, you two. My name's Flo. Can I start you off with something to drink?" she asked kindly.

I looked to Bella and she turned to Flo. "I'll have water."

I nodded my head. "I'll have a Sprite."

Flo walked off and Bella immediately went back to her menu. I sighed internally, becoming agitated with the meeting so far. I could barely even think about eating when I didn't know how this was going to go. And if it was going to go like this, then I wanted out as soon as possible. We needed to talk this over.

"Bella," I started, "how are you doing?"

She looked up at me from her menu in a look of almost horror. I raised my hand to the table and she shied back into her side of the booth. My mind began reeling—what had happened to her? Why was she acting like a scared puppy?

"I'm fine," she said, her hand nervously reaching out to tuck a loose hair behind her ear. Her eyes averted down to the table and she stared at the pattern intensely.

"Liar," I said quietly. She looked up at me with fierce eyes.

"How would you know?"

I nodded towards her. "You're thinner, paler, and you look like you've been run over by a car. This isn't you, Bella. If you tell me—"

"And here's your drinks," Flo cut in, setting the glasses down in front of us. I wanted to throw the Sprite in her face and tell her to never come back so I could finish my conversation with Bella.

"Thank you," Bella said, giving Flo a small smile.

"You're welcome, honey. Now, what can I get you two to eat?"

"I'll have the BLT plate," Bella said, folding up the menu and placing it at the end of the table.

"Turkey Club special," I added, placing my menu down on top of hers.

"Great, I'll have those up for you right away."

"Take your time," I insisted, my eyes trained back on Bella. She definitely looked worse for wear. I think she was trying to cover up the fact that she had let herself go. I took a moment to study her. She was in her typical jeans and plain t-shirt, layered with a long-sleeved shirt, but her skin didn't shine and her hair looked like she had just woken up from a nightmare and she'd tried to brush it back down. If I didn't know her as well as I did, I don't think I'd have noticed the parts of her that were out of place.

She put her hands on the table, her fingers poking at each other. I stared, noticing that her fingers were picked at and scabbed. She must have hurt herself or done it unintentionally while she was sitting at home. It was at that moment I felt slightly better. Not because Bella had hurt herself, but because these little glimpses had shown me that she was dealing with this in the same way I was.

Bella Swan was sitting in front of me, broken.

I just hoped she wasn't broken beyond repair.

** ** **

**a/n: hi readers! Bella and Edward are talking (at last)—like I said in Ch 12, the big reveal is in chapter 15, so hang in there for one more chapter! Thanks for all the alerts, favorites, and reviews!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**Mini a/n: thanks to the beta Little Miss Masen, and Hammondgirl, this is for you.**

** ** **

I sat back against the booth, letting it hold my weight. "I can't begin to apologize or try to fix this if you don't tell me what's upset you so much," I tried again.

She sighed heavily, looking down at her lap. "I don't think you can fix this."

I leaned forward, my arms on the table. I looked down, trying to catch her eyes. I'd counted on them so many times to tell me what was going on inside her mind. Only now she was refusing to let me in. And it was killing me. She was right here in front of me but I still couldn't come in.

"But maybe you could let me try?" I whispered.

She didn't move and I reached out to touch her chin with my finger. She shied away, turning her chin into her body and withdrawing from me. Inside I felt like I was dying.

I sat back against the booth, crossing my arms over my chest. After a few tense moments, she looked up at me, sighing heavily.

"You don't remember anything, do you?" she asked.

I shook my head. "Bella, if I've done anything, said anything to upset you, trust me, I'm more than sorry for it. I'll spend forever trying to make it up to you."

"I know—and part of me knows that you would never hurt me, but—" she paused, sucking her bottom lip into her mouth.

"Your food, kids!" Flo said brightly as she set the plates down in front of us. We thanked her and munched on our food, although I wanted to be ill inside. I just wanted this agony to be over.

"I'm not very hungry," Bella said.

"Me either. We can get this to go and talk somewhere else more private if you'd like?" I asked.

She nodded.

"My apartment?" I asked.

She stared at me for a second. "I, I guess that would be alright."

When Flo returned, we got to-go boxes and I slipped her money before Bella could even notice. When she tried to protest I simply shook my head. We stood up and walked into the parking lot.

"I'll meet you there," she said, walking towards her truck.

I nodded and slid into my seat, turning on the car and heating it up. I pulled my phone out of my pocket just as Alice was calling. I flipped it open.

"Hey, Alice."

"Edward, how did it go?" she asked, sounding hopeful.

"Well, we didn't really get to talk. We're going back to my apartment right now. Hopefully we'll be able to work all this out and fix things."

"I hope so. You two were together for so long…I'd just hate to see something like this get thrown away."

"Thanks, sis, for the encouragement. Did you call for a specific reason?"

She laughed. "Oh, yeah, well, I was hoping you could get Jasper off my hands for a few hours tomorrow. Now, I know you guys haven't been getting along as well recently, but if he doesn't stop swarming around me waiting for this baby, I might kill him!"

"Fine, I'll do it. He and I can meet for lunch or something tomorrow. Tell him to text me in the morning. And call Dad and Emmett—let's just make it a whole guys' thing."

I pulled the phone away when I heard her squealing. "Oh, Edward, it's a perfect idea! I mean, at first I was hoping it could be just you and Jasper because I want you two to make up, but this is a great idea, too! Mom and Rosalie can come over and help me finish putting away all the baby clothes!"

I mentally patted myself on the back for a job well done. I turned down onto my street and saw Bella following behind me.

"Alice, I'm turning down my street now, so I will talk to you later, alright?"

"Definitely! Oh thank you, again, Edward! I hope things go well with Bella! I'm rooting for you!"

"Thanks."

"I love you, Edward. No matter what happens with Bella, you'll still be my favorite."

I rolled my eyes. "I love you, too. Goodbye."

"Bye."

The phone clicked and I flipped it shut. My heart started pounding again as my nerves resurfaced. My mind was racing with possibilities of what happened. I pulled into the parking lot and noticed that Bella chose the spot next to mine. Her truck rumbled as she turned it off and I said another silent prayer to God that this was all fixable.

I crawled out of my car and locked the doors. Bella's glance caught mine and we walked towards the apartment together. I unlocked the door and let her go through first. She dropped her coat on the rack and walked toward the living room. I trailed behind her and almost ran into her when she stopped in the doorway. She turned to me.

"You got new furniture?"

I nodded, looking down at my feet. "Yeah."

"Why?"

"Well, it's a long story. And it's not necessarily a good one."

She sat down on the new couch and ran her hand gingerly over the fabric. "Was it because of me?"

I took a few steps forward, stopping before reaching the couch. I wasn't sure if she wanted me to sit near her or not. "Not technically. It was my fault. I was upset and angry at myself and…I just let it take me over."

She looked up at me. "Tell me."

I took a deep breath, hoping this wouldn't scare her. "I tore up the place. Took a hammer and tore it up. If you didn't want me anymore, I didn't want anything else."

"Oh, Edward," she said sadly. "I never wanted this for us." She picked at the toe of her shoe with her other foot, again hiding her face from me.

I sat on the arm of the chair staring down at her. "Tell me what happened. Tell me what I did, Bella."

She looked up at me with glassy eyes, her arms thrown across her body. "You hurt me."

"And I'm sorry, if I said—"

She shook her head. "No, it was worse."

** ** **

**A/N: one of you lovely readers once called me the Queen of Cliffies. I'm going to claim that title now. But guess what? Next chapter is the big reveal! So don't hate on me too hard, okay?**

**Fallward and I could use some love, so if you wanna click on that little green button, he and I could rest a little easier while we get ready for the next chapter.**

**Thanks!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**Mini a/n: Thanks to the beta, Little Miss Masen, and hammondgirl, this is for you.**

**Without further ado, the BIG REVEAL…**

** ** **

My body stilled and tensed. What had I done?

"You don't remember, and I figured you wouldn't. You were so…different that night. I remember you had said you were going out with Jasper for a little while and that you'd call me later. When I hadn't heard from you, I tried to shrug it off. I mean, it wasn't like I owned you or anything—you were allowed to come and go as you wanted."

I was steadying my breaths, trying to remain calm. Finally, after all this time, we were going to be able to work things out. I let my fingers nervously play with the rivets in my jeans, poking and pulling at them.

She stared at the ground while she talked and that fact alone made me think I'd done something terrible. I'd hoped flashbacks would start coming back to me as she spoke so I could deal with this issue.

"Well, later that night, I guess it was around 11 or so, you called me, but you didn't sound right. After talking with you for a bit I figured out you were drunk. Your words were slurred and you kept laughing. I tried to convince you to go home and sleep it off. Jasper got on the phone and promised me he'd make sure you got back to your apartment safely. I felt better knowing someone was looking after you and I told you to call me the next day when you woke up. Like normal, you said you loved me and I hung up the phone."

Her breathing was picking up and she was hugging herself tighter. I felt a knot begin to form in my own stomach, the feeling of nausea starting to wave over me.

"My dad was at work that night so I went to bed shortly after. I don't know how long I'd been asleep for, but my phone started ringing and I picked it up when I saw it was you. You were still very drunk but you sounded so sad. You kept apologizing and telling me you loved me. I was starting to get concerned, but didn't want to call your parents or Alice and bother them. I tried to get you to fall asleep, and I think you did eventually. You started snoring—"she laughed slightly, "and I hung up the phone and went back to sleep."

I waited patiently for her to continue. I already started feeling guilty for getting that drunk and did remember Jasper calling me, asking me to go out. He was worried about Alice and the baby and needed a distraction.

"You must have called back again later and I was so worried about you I couldn't deal with it anymore. I told you to go lay in your bed and that I'd be over as soon as I could. I changed out of my pajamas and rushed over, nervous to find you sick somewhere. When I got there you were on the couch, right here," she said sadly. "I barely recognized you. You were acting so strange. You were very awake and…very flirty. You were excited to see me."

I wanted to interject that I was always excited to see her but I didn't want to interrupt her—I needed to hear the end of this.

"I went over to check on you and make sure you were alright. You pulled me to you and kissed me. Your breath was God-awful. It reeked of whiskey. I pushed you away and told you that it was time for bed. Apparently you were thinking something much different than I was."

And my stomach dropped. I wanted to be sick. I hadn't. No, I wouldn't…

"I tried to get you to move towards the bedroom and you…" she stopped, swallowing thickly. "You pushed me up against the wall. Your eyes were dark and you just…stared…at me. I was so terrified. I have never in my life been so scared, Edward. You looked down at me and you said…"

It was official. I wanted to die.

Her lip was trembling and she pulled into herself tighter. "You said that you knew I wanted it."

I felt a dry heave and tried to hold myself together—I shouldn't be the one feeling upset—she was the one who was hurt.

She was crying now, taking large breaths, almost sobbing. She looked up at me and her eyes were red and she looked so damn broken.

"Tell me I didn't—"was all I could say, so terrified to hear the answer.

She shook her head left to right. "No, you didn't. You grabbed my arm and squeezed it. You were a completely different person and I felt like I didn't know you at all. I started crying, begging you to stop. I pushed you away from me, trying to get free. Eventually something in you snapped and you came back to me for a split second—the Edward that I knew, the Edward that I loved. You apologized and asked me to leave before you could hurt me anymore. You went to kiss my head goodnight and I pulled away instantly. My body didn't want your touch. My body didn't want to be yours anymore."

Her eyes were so sad and empty. "I know it wasn't you that night. Something in you changed; maybe it was from the alcohol. But when you came over the next day pretending like nothing happened, I wanted to die. How could I tell you what you did to me and have you not remember?"

"Bella," I said, tasting thick cotton in my throat. "I am so sorry. I would never, ever, EVER do something like that to you intentionally."

"I know, but you did. I can't just overlook the fact that I feel physically ill when you come near me. Inside I know I shouldn't be scared of you, but my body just closes in. I'm sorry, Edward. I couldn't be near you."

I nodded slowly, feeling like such an asshole. I'd really done it this time.

I'd fucked up big time. And I really didn't know if I could fix it.

** **

**A/N: Wow.**

**Thanks to JustForkIt for helping make this chapter great. **

**That being said, please review and let me know what you think.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**Mini a/n: thanks to the beta, Little Miss Masen, and Hammondgirl, this is for you.**

** **

After Bella got the story out to me, I tried to apologize as best I could. But even I knew that there was no way I could expect her to forgive me and just move along as if nothing ever happened. I tried to reassure her that it would never happen again and she said she wouldn't mention it to anyone else. I felt severely ill—here I should be begging her forgiveness and she was trying to calm me down?

She left shortly after, wanting to get home before it was dark, and I could only assume she was exhausted from recounting the story.

As soon as she was out the door I was in the bathroom throwing up. I was so sick and disgusted with myself. I stared at myself in the mirror, spitting at my reflection.

"You're a pathetic excuse for a man," I said angrily.

The rage in me took over and my fingers were tempted to rip the mirror off the wall and let the glass shatter everywhere. But as soon as the urge fell over me, I remembered Bella's face when she saw my new couches and realized what I had done. I couldn't do that to her again.

I splashed some water on my face and changed into pajamas. I walked into my room and lay down on my bed. Today had been both good and bad—I'd seen Bella and she'd told me what I'd done, but I couldn't help but hate myself for what I'd done. And there was no one I could even talk to without looking like a complete asshole or a huge disappointment. Thank God Chief Swan hadn't found out—he'd have me locked up in a cell somewhere. Although I feared that is where I belonged the most—if I was locked up, there would be no way I could hurt Bella again. Yes, locked away from the world is where I needed to be.

I drifted into a fitful sleep, tossing and turning. I jolted awake at one point, a cry ripping from my throat and my chest heaving to find a breath. I looked around frantically, my hands grabbing wildly at the sheets around me.

I'd seen it all, in my head, just like Bella had told me. I had pushed her and loomed over her, grabbing her. My stomach was everywhere, I felt dizzy, the room was blurry and I just wanted to die. I somehow managed to crawl to the bathroom where I was sick again, my throat sore as I chugged a glass of water. I let my forehead rest on the cool tile floor as my chest rose and fell, trying to find an even flow.

I wanted to erase these images—to act like they had never happened at all. But I couldn't. Although I could erase all the nightmares, it would never erase the actual event that happened.

I threw myself back into my bed and kicked off the sheets. The fan blew cool air over my face and I closed my eyes and began a silent prayer.

Dear God, if there is anyway that I could be forgiven for what I've done. I'll do anything to make it up to Bella. Please don't let this be the end of us. I know what I've done is basically unforgivable but if there is anything I can do, I will. Amen.

I touched my phone next to me on the nightstand and I flipped it open. It was late, but I couldn't stop my fingers from flying across the numbers, sending a text to Bella.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry.

I closed it and shut my eyes, my nose touching the pillow, inhaling slowly. A few minutes passed before I felt the buzzing against the mattress.

Rest, Edward. Don't keep yourself up thinking about this.

I exhaled loudly as a sob erupted from me. I hugged one of my pillows tightly, trying to focus on the scent and its calming effects. It wasn't working.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I repeated over and over until I fell into a dreamless sleep.

** **

I woke the next morning, my eyes tight and swollen. I sat up and groaned. I walked into the kitchen and put some bread in the toaster and grabbed a glass of juice. My body moved like a machine, much like it had in the last few months since Bella and I had split. My mind refused to believe that this was the end of us. It didn't want to believe that we would never be. But my heart knew that this could break us—and it should. If I had hurt her I no longer deserved her.

The toast popped up and I grabbed in instinctually, buttering it and slipping some jam on top. I crunched it quietly, leaning up against the sink and staring out the window. Today I had decided that I would go to the gym and try to distract myself with the happenings around me.

My phone rang from the other room and I walked over to grab it. Alice.

"Hello?" I asked, coughing as my voice sounded gruff.

"Edward? Are you alright?" she asked.

I nodded although she couldn't see me. "Yes, I'm fine." Or I will be one day, I thought.

"Okay," she said, sounding unsure. "I was calling to see if you wanted to have dinner out for Mom and Dad's anniversary?"

"Sure, when?" I asked, taking a sip of my orange juice.

"How about next Satur—oh my God," she moaned.

I bolted up straight. "Alice?" I asked.

"Edward," she said, pausing. "I need you to call Jasper and maybe get over here as soon as you can."

"Alice, what's wrong? Are you hurt? Is someone there?"

I heard some movement in the background and what sounded like broken glass. My heart was racing as I rushed around looking for my car keys. I tore out the door, barely managing to lock it as I jumped into my car. I was reversing out of the driveway faster than I should have, almost clipping a car that was whizzing down the street.

"Come on!" I shouted at the car. "Alice, Alice, are you okay?"

"Just call Jasper and get here now," she begged.

"Alice, tell me what's happening?"

"Edward, my water broke. The baby is coming. It's time."

** **

**A/N: Thanks for the positive response on Chapter 15—I'm glad that most of you enjoyed the outcome that I made you wait so long for…please keep on reviewing and letting me know what ya think!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**Mini A/N: thanks to the beta, Little Miss Masen, and Hammondgirl, this is for you.**

** **

It seemed like I was hitting every traffic light in this one-stop town. My heart was racing as I dialed Jaspers cell phone and it went to voicemail. Again. This was my third try.

"Jasper, where the hell are you? Alice said the baby is on its way, which means you need to get your ass to the hospital now because I didn't take the breathing classes and I sure as hell don't want to be the one in there when she's giving birth. Call me, man!"

I slammed the phone shut and tossed it in the seat next to me. I turned down the road towards the house and my tires squealed. Oops.

I silently prayed that if I got pulled over for a ticket today it wouldn't be Chief Swan. I didn't know how much he knew about Bella and me but I figured it would be best if I kept my distance for quite a while. At least until I knew where things were going.

I pulled into the driveway and raced into the house. "Alice?!" I called like a maniac. I know we had all talked about a 'birth plan' or something like that, but right now I don't even think I knew my own name. "Alice, where are you?" I screamed.

"In the kitchen," she called, her voice sounding nervous.

I rushed in to find her sitting on one of the bar stools, drinking a cup of tea. My eyes bugged out and I simply stared at her. "Alice?" I asked.

She smiled slightly. "My water broke and I didn't want to get any of the furniture dirty. Did you get a hold of Jasper?"

I shook my head. "Voicemail. Left a few messages. Where is he?"

"He had to travel out of town today—maybe he lost service somewhere. Can you go upstairs and get my birthing folder? It's on my dresser."

I nodded and took the stairs two at a time. I ran into her room and grabbed the folder. I was coming down the stairs when I heard Alice talking to someone. I walked into the kitchen and saw her on her phone.

"I'm sure. Don't worry just get there as soon as you can. Okay, bye."

"Who was that?" I asked.

"Rosalie. I told her to try to see if she could get in touch with Jasper and let mom and dad know we're on our way to the—oh shit," she finished, grabbing onto the counter.

My eyes were bugged out. What the hell was going on? "Contraction?" I asked.

She nodded and began doing some breathing exercises until she had calmed a few minutes later. I stood there like an idiot the whole time. How come I hadn't made any effort to pay attention to her in the last few months? Of course it would come down to me having to help her when I was the one with no experience whatsoever.

I was twiddling my thumbs when she looked over at me. "Edward we have to go."

I nodded, walking into the living room and grabbing her hospital bag and shoving the folder inside the flap. I jogged out to the car and tossed it in the back seat before returning to get Alice. She had started walking to the car and had made it through the kitchen into the dining room. I took her hand and put my other arm around her back. We walked slowly while Alice started rattling off things on her to-do list, like calling Jasper's parents, making sure that the hospital bed had replaced their sheets with the organic ones that she had purchased beforehand, and other things. I thought she was being silly, but she glared at me when I questioned her. Apparently Alice had a plan and we were certainly going to follow the damn thing.

I was just getting her in the car when she started gripping my hand tightly, her body giving out as she sank into the chair. Another round of the breathing exercises came and I kneeled down next to her trying to mimic the breathing.

"That. Isn't. Helping," she groaned out, squeezing my hand harder.

I was pretty sure my hand was going to fall off at this point. I wanted to start crying and doing my own exercises to make my pain go away. After her contraction slowed, I rushed to the other side of the car and started the engine. We took off towards the hospital and my phone buzzed. I answered it. "Hello?"

"Edward? Are you almost to the hospital?" my dad asked.

I thought for a second, calculating where we were. "We just left the house so probably another ten minutes if the traffic's good."

"Alright, well drive carefully. We're stuck in traffic on the highway so it looks like we won't be there for another half hour or so."

I held back the whiny groan. A half hour? What if the baby came and I was the only one there? "Okay, see you when you get there."

"Don't panic, Edward. She's got her plan and the hospital will know what to do. Let Jasper handle everything."

"We can't get a hold of him," I said lowly, trying not to let Alice hear.

"I'll give him a call. I'm sure he's just busy at work. We'll get him, Edward. Just stay calm."

"Rosalie and Emmett are on their way," Alice added.

I repeated the information to my dad and he hummed in approval. "Okay, that's good. Rosalie will know what to do."

I sighed in relief and I heard my dad laugh. We hung up and I looked at Alice. She was gripping the handle of the car and her teeth were clenched together. My heart was racing as I drove down the street toward the hospital.

I could only hope that Jasper would get there in time.

** **

**A/N: hey gang! Last chapter we got a ton of reviews, more than the usual, so please keep them coming! I'm glad that you haven't abandoned me and Fallward now that you know what happened.**

**Thanks for all the support and please, let me and Fallward know what you think!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**Mini a/n: Thanks to the beta, Little Miss Masen, and of course, Hammondgirl, this is your fic.**

** **

I pulled into the first parking spot I could at the hospital and rushed out of the car. I helped Alice up and a nurse came out to settle her into a wheelchair. I slammed the car door shut after grabbing her bag (which she kept reminding me not to forget). As we walked in I rushed the desk.

"Alice Whitlock is here and she is having a baby!" I yelled.

The nurse looked up at me. "Are you the father?"

My face scrunched up. "No, I'm her brother! My father works here—Carlisle Cullen? We need help!"

She handed me a clipboard and a pen. "You'll need to fill this out for her while you wait to be admitted."

I leaned over the desk. "Are you kidding me? My sister is having a baby and you want me to fill out paperwork?"

She stood up and looked down at the ground. "You, sir, have no shoes on. I can kick you out of the hospital for that. Now are you gonna go sit down and fill out papers while I get you some booties or am I going to have to call security?"

I frowned and took the clipboard. I walked back over to Alice muttering phrases about how this staff needed to learn some manners.

I filled in what I could and handed it off to Alice. Her contractions had slowed so she was able to concentrate and work on the papers. A few minutes later a nurse came over and handed me a pair of socks and booties. I slipped them on while Alice eyed me.

I shrugged. "I was panicked when you called so I just ran out of the house."

She nodded at me. "So those are your pajamas?"

I looked down at my sleep pants and wrinkled t-shirt. "Yep."

She whipped out her phone and started text messaging someone. "Rosalie will bring you something else to wear."

I shook my head, not surprised in the least. "Thanks."

She smiled. "No problem." She reached over and grabbed my hand. I was prepared for her to squeeze it right off but she just gave it a gentle squeeze. "I'm glad that you're here with me, Edward."

I smiled back. "I am, too. Although I must admit that I don't know anything about birthing babies."

She laughed. "Well, all you have to do is distract me until Jasper co—omes," she said, grabbing my hand and beginning her breathing exercises again.

I was starting to panic. Where was Jasper? "Alice, just breathe."

She growled at me, tugging harder on my hand. "Where. Is. Jasper."

I stood up, prying my hand loose and shaking it in the air. "I'm gonna go give him another call." I ran out of the room and down the hall. As I neared the door I sighed in relief at the sight of my parents.

"Edward!" my mom called, pulling me into a hug. "How is she?"

"She's got contractions but I think she's okay. She's in the waiting room."

My mother rushed off and my dad eyed me.

"I can't get a hold of Jasper so I was going to call him again. I'm worried something's wrong. Emmett and Rosalie are on their way here."

He nodded and clapped me on the shoulder. "Alright I'm going to see if I can get them to move Alice into a room."

I smiled and walked outside, dialing Jasper again. This time he picked up.

"Edward, I'm on my way! I'm so sorry! I wasn't getting service out near the woods. How's Alice? Is she alright?"

I mentally sighed in relief. "She's fine now, but she'll be much better when you get here. Drive carefully okay?"

"Will do. I should be there within 15 minutes or so. Tell Alice I'm on my way."

"Alright, see you soon, Jasper." I hung up the phone in relief as I walked back into the waiting room. Mom was sitting next to Alice, handing her a bottle of water. My father was finishing up some paperwork over at the nurses' station. I sat on the other side of Alice and smiled.

"I talked to Jasper and he should be here soon."

You could see Alice's body relax instantly. "Oh thank God! I was afraid something happened to him!"

"Not to worry, I am here!" Emmett announced loudly as he walked in. Alice's face lit up and she clapped her hands.

"Oh good, everyone's almost here! Did you bring Edward some clothes?"

Rosalie held up a paper bag and then handed it to me. I looked inside and found a pair of my jeans and one of my t-shirts. I smiled gratefully when I saw a pair of flip flops in the bag as well. I stood up and went to the bathroom, changing out of my nightclothes and thankful to be rid of them. I had sweat in my dreams last night and felt much better now.

I walked back out into the waiting room to see Emmett and my father sitting, the ladies nowhere in sight.

"They are getting her situated in a room," my father explained at the confused look on my face.

"Trust me; you don't want to be in there," Emmett said, "lots of screaming."

Carlisle chuckled at Emmett and nodded. "Best if the men just sit out here and wait. Well, Jasper can go in when he gets here."

We chatted about meaningless stuff for a while and watched television. About twenty minutes had passed when Jasper came rushing into the hospital, his eyes frantically searching.

"Jasper! Your kid is on its way!" Emmett yelled, smiling.

Dad stood up and walked over to Jasper, whispering some things in his ear. Jasper nodded and ran off down the hall. As dad walked back over he rolled his eyes at Emmett.

"When it comes your turn to do this, son, you won't be laughing, that I can promise."

Emmett's face turned white and he slunk back in his chair. "Me, having kids?"

Dad laughed and nodded. "Yes, and in case you haven't heard, Karma is a bitch."

I laughed but couldn't stop wondering if Karma was going to show up for me or not.

** **

**A/N: Hey gang! We're getting closer to the end (2 more chapters after this!) so I hope you're still hanging in there **

**Fallward and I have been hard at work wrapping things up so please leave a review and tell us what you think!**


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Mini a/n: Thanks to the beta, Little Miss Masen, and Hammondgirl, this is for you.

** **

I'm not sure how long we sat there—I'd fallen asleep a few times and we'd eaten a snack here and there. Mom and Rosalie had come back out to sit and wait with us, letting Alice and Jasper have their time together.

I was curled up next to my mom, my head on her shoulder and her hand in my hair. She was humming something to me and I felt more relaxed than I had in a long, long time. I slept well considering we were in a hospital waiting room.

Dad would get up and walk around, talk to some nurses, and get updates every now and then. He never looked worried so we didn't ask questions. He told us that sometimes a birth could take a long time, especially if it was a first time for the mother. That news helped calm me down, remembering back to the beginning when the doctors were very concerned with Alice's pregnancy.

I began to lose track of time and since there weren't many windows around I couldn't tell what time it was unless I took out my phone. But I didn't want to. I knew if I were to pull it out of my pocket I wouldn't be able to fight the urge to scroll trough my text messages and read every word that Bella had sent to me.

I found myself wishing I hadn't taken so much for granted. Of course I still wanted to take back any time I had ever taken a drink because it led to the downfall of mine and Bella's relationship. But more than that, I found myself wishing that I had really let myself enjoy being with Bella. I loved her more than anything but I started thinking back to fights we had gotten into. Some of it was over the stupidest stuff.

We'd fight over me not wanting Bella to take night classes. I wanted to spend my free time with her, and I just thought it would be easier if we both took classes around the same time. I knew she had to work on the weekend and I just wanted to be able to see her. And I didn't like her being out on campus at night alone. Mom had shown me some articles about girls being attacked walking to their cars and it just didn't sit right with me at all.

But Bella didn't like me being so…demanding…about what I wanted for her. Of course, I only wanted her safety but I can see now that it was difficult for her to look at it that way when I was being so pushy. Now I wished I could go back and explain to her all that I wanted was to keep her safe.

I didn't know now if that would all be an option for me. I wouldn't blame her if she didn't want me near her again. But she had been near me since the 'incident' and even though she was pretty much a shell of herself, she let me talk to her and touch her, even if barely. I still held a small scrap of hope.

Dad was walking back over to us, a serious look on his face. I sat up straight and my mom gripped onto my hand tightly. "Well, gang, I've got some news."

"Oh, Carlisle, what is it?" Mom asked.

He ran his hand over the back of his neck. "Well, everything looks alright and they say it's just taking a while. But if she doesn't finish dilating soon the doctor wants to move ahead with a Caesarian Section. He's worried that Alice will tire if this goes on much longer, and then there's the chance we might face some complications."

I heard my mom take a sharp breath as she gripped tighter onto my hand. "Is it…serious?"

My dad nodded. "We don't want to worry just yet, but it's just something to be aware of."

"I want to see her," she said sadly.

Dad nodded and they walked toward the nurse desk and then down the hall.

"I hope something doesn't happen to Alice and the baby," Emmett said, speaking for the first time in hours.

"It'll be alright. You know Alice is a trooper—she's determined to have this baby," Rosalie said, taking a sip of her water.

Mom came back out and sat down, staring at the television. We sat that way for at least another hour when we heard sneakers squeaking on the tile. I looked up to see Jasper with a wide grin on his face.

"Everything went great! It's a girl!" he shouted. We all stood up and cheered, my mom's shoulders sagging in relief. I held her up and she squeezed me tightly. I knew if I looked at her that she would be crying—only this time they would be tears of joy.

"When do we get to see the little ladybug?" Emmett asked.

"They were getting her all cleaned up so as soon as that's done, I'm sure you can all go look at her." He let out a sigh and smiled. "She's so perfect and she looks so much like Alice."

As I expected, Mom was crying. Jasper left to go back in and check on things and my dad came out with a huge grin on his face. "I'm a Grandpa!"

Mom and Dad hugged tightly and Emmett nudged me on the shoulder. A little while later we got to go into the room and I smiled when I saw Alice holding a pink blanket that had my niece in it.

"Abigail Leigh," Mom cooed as she rocked the small bundle in her arms. Dad was taking tons of pictures and Rosalie and Emmett stood off to the side, smiling widely.

I walked over to Alice and kissed her on the forehead. "She's gorgeous, you did a great job," I said.

Alice smiled, her eyes looking very tired yet still maintaining that sparkle in her. "Mom, give her to Edward. I want him to hold her."

Mom reluctantly passed me my niece and as soon as she was in my arms I felt my heart break. She was so perfect, so tiny, and so angelic-looking. I pulled my face closer to hers and kissed her cheek as the flash of the camera went off.

I couldn't help but think of Bella at that moment and how perfect our lives could have been…should have been.

** **

**A/N: the baby is here! Hooray! And everything went well! One more chapter to go, folks! I'll save my thank you notes for then and see you in a few days!**


	20. Chapter 20: The end

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**Mini a/n: Last chapter, guys. **

**Thanks to the beta, Little Miss Masen, and Hammondgirl, this is for you.**

** **

Alice and Jasper brought Abigail home a few days later after the hospital made sure both girls were healthy and strong. Jasper beamed like a lighthouse when he brought them both to the car. Of course my dad was filming the whole thing, getting into his role of Grandpa, and taking it very seriously.

I had gone with him to help out if needed, but I think my mom just sent me so I would get out of my apartment. But I couldn't lie; I already had a soft spot for baby Abigail and had a feeling that she was going to be a strong presence in my life from now on.

I helped Alice into the car and drove back to Alice and Jasper's place while my dad babbled on about babies and proper care and how Alice and I had grown up way too fast. I only half-listened, my mind wandering, making a mental list of all the things I would teach Abigail as she got older. She would definitely be getting her own piano as soon as she could sit up straight, if not sooner. Music would be stimulating for her and I'd love to be able to teach her.

We pulled up to the house behind Jasper's SUV and my dad whipped out his video camera, narrating each second. I shook my head when I saw Alice roll her eyes and whine "Dadddd, give us time to get settled down." Jasper just grinned and waved at the camera. If I'd thought he was in love with my sister, then his love for Abigail was ten million times more.

Not that I could blame him. She looked so much like my Alice. The only part that really reminded us of Jasper was her shaggy-looking blonde hair. As she got older I secretly hoped she'd look a little like me, but I was relieved that she didn't inherit my unruly hair. Perhaps her personality would be more like mine.

We walked in to be assaulted by balloons and streamers everywhere. Emmett and Rosalie stood excited near the couch and I swear Rosalie squealed when Alice asked her if she'd like to hold Abigail. Rosalie hummed softly to her while Emmett looked on. The excitement in his face told me that he was just as smitten with Abigail as I was.

I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water and grabbed a bottle for Alice. I took it out and handed it to her and she squeezed me.

"Thanks, Edward, for everything."

I smiled. "No problem at all. You're my sister."

Abigail was put down for a nap and we ate some food that my mom had made while we chatted about the last few days at home. We heard Abigail stirring and Alice looked to me.

"Edward, you always had a way of calming me when we were kids—would you go sit with Abigail?"

I was shocked and stared at her. Jasper agreed, so I walked into the nursery, peeking down at Abigail in her bassinet. She started making a frustrated face and her hands were moving wildly. I picked her up and cradled her to my chest, sitting in the rocking chair and humming softly. When that didn't work, I resorted to what used to help Alice calm down: nursery rhymes.

"Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider and sat down beside her and frightened Miss Muffet away."

She started to calm some and I continued rocking in the chair. "Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had...a great fall. But all the King's horses and all the King's men couldn't put Humpty together again."

Abigail had gone back to sleep and I sat there, mesmerized by how a simple nursery rhyme could imitate my entire life at this point—Bella and I had taken a great fall and no matter what happened, I didn't think we could be put back together ever again.

Someone coughed and I looked up to find Bella in the doorway, her finger picking at the wooden frame.

"Bella," I said as I exhaled a breath I was holding.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you," she said quietly.

I shook my head. "No, not at all. Did you want to see Abigail?" I whispered.

She nodded and took a step closer. I stood and offered her the rocking chair. She walked past me, barely making eye contact, and slid into the chair. Once she was situated I placed my niece in her arms.

Bella held her, staring at her in wonder. After a few minutes her eyes began to water.

"What is it?" I asked curiously.

"Edward, I'm just so sorry," she said, looking away from me at the wall.

I kneeled down next to her, trying to look at her sad face. "Sorry for what, Bella? I hurt you, I…I put my hands on you when I shouldn't have. If anything, it's me who should be sitting here apologizing."

She sniffled and my heart was completely breaking all over again. She looked down at Abigail and then over at me. "I'm sorry that I can't fix you."

I stared at her, confused. "Fix me?"

She nodded. "All the King's horses and all the King's men couldn't put Humpty back together again," she recited. "It's us, Edward--that rhyme. And I can't fix you."

I shook my head. "Bella, I broke you when I acted inappropriately. I can't fix this because I am a monster."

She stood up and put Abigail back in her crib and turned to look at me. "You're not a monster, Edward. You're a good man. But I can't fix you, or fix this, as much as I want to."

My heart stopped. "What are you saying, Bella?"

She looked down at her shoes. "I don't know if we can ever be together again, Edward. I love you, and I'd love to try, but I don't know if there's hope for us."

I took her hand softly and cringed when she resisted my touch. "There is always hope when there is love, Bella. I know I messed up and I'm not asking for forgiveness—what I've done can't be forgiven. If you need time I will give you time. Whatever you need. Just please don't give up on us—we can be fixed, I know it."

A tear fell down her cheek and I swiped it away with one finger. She looked up at me after a few moments and nodded her head. My heart came alive with hope for a future. With Bella.

Maybe all the King's horses and all the King's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again. But I knew that Bella Swan could fix me, fix us, and put us back together again.

** **

**A/N: That's it—we reached the end! Before you go and leave me reviews asking me what happened and how could I end it like I did right there, I wanted to say a few things:**

**First of all, thank you for each and every review and kind word. This story has come a long way from the small one-shot it was originally intended to be. So thank you for encouraging me and sticking with me.**

**Second, the ending is left somewhat open because it's really up to you to decide in your mind what happens. I know, this isn't a 'Choose your own adventure' style story, but I really didn't want to choose what happened after this moment because Edward and Bella didn't want to tell me.**

**Third, I got a lot of mixed feedback on whether or not Bella was justified in being scared of Edward. You're most certainly allowed your own opinion, so I thought I'd share my logic with y'all. I think Bella is justified in being scared because her boyfriend, whom she loved and trusted, nearly attempted to rape her. Even though she KNOWS Edward would never do that intentionally, the shock her body went through can often take time to wear off. So as much as it agitated some people that she was so resistant to our lovely Fallward, I can see why.**

**So, here we are, at the end. Again, thank you for your love and support! If you want, hop on to one of my other stories and check out some happier adventures **

**Thanks a million times over,**

**LMW, aka Mels.**


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